It still doesn’t feel real. But it’s still amazing…
I don’t think I believed it was ever going to happen for us. It took four heartbreaking years for our little miracle to happen and when it finally did I was in denial. My period was late. But I waited. My hormones must be messed up, I thought. Five days pass and I decided to take a test.
I peed into the tiny cup, dipped the paper strip in, and waited. Nothing was happening. I probably only waited for about 30 seconds before I figured this test must be defective so I got out another test and dipped it into the same sample. I waited another 30 seconds and decided I couldn’t wait all day for these things so I got into the shower and didn’t think about it any more.
After my shower I opened the shower curtain and there they were. Two little test strips containing potentially life-changing information. I didn’t have my contacts in yet so I got up nice and close to read the results (gross, I know. I just peed on those) and both tests were positive. I think? The test line was lighter than the control line but it was undeniable that there was a second line there. I wasn’t convinced (denial!). I figured I’d wait and test again to see if the line got any darker.
The next day, after some thought, I figured I should probably pick up a digital test from the drug store so I could get an actual “yes” or “no” and not have to decipher colored lines. Samuel wasn’t feeling well and I offered to go to the drug store to pick up anything he needed, but he didn’t need anything. A little while later I asked him again (at least one or two more times) if he needed anything from the drug store. He didn’t need anything, but then he said: “why do you want to go to the drug store so badly?”. So I told him. Yes, I kept that information to myself for an entire day.
I picked up a few things at the drug store including a digital test, then waited until the next morning to make sure I get the most accurate result (I know, I could have tested at any time with those new-fangled digital tests but I was being cautious). The next morning I got up early and used the digital test. While I waited for results I went to let one of the cats into the bathroom with me (they scratch at the bathroom door every day) and Samuel was standing there looking eager to find out what was going on. I looked over at the test and the digital window already said “Pregnant” even though it had been processing for only a few seconds. We just kind of smiled and didn’t say too much because OBVIOUSLY this news hasn’t sunk in for either of us.
Anyways… days and weeks go on, doctor appointments happen, a lot of blood and urine is drawn from my body for testing, decided on prenatal care, saw our little bean’s heart beat flashing on the screen at my first ultrasound, heard our baby’s heartbeat on the fetal doppler at our first midwife visit… all the normal stuff except that I still don’t feel pregnant. Apparently NOT having much for pregnancy symptoms is just as normal as having them. Who knew?
I guess that’s my first trimester! Uneventful. The timing isn’t exactly ideal since I’ll be doing Phase 2 of 8 Elements training at 14 weeks pregnant, and I’ll be 8 1/2 months pregnant when Suhaila comes to Edmonton so that’s obviously not going to happen, and I’ll have a newborn when Devi Mamak is here so I’m not sure about going… but I’m so NOT complaining!!
Looking forward to learning a lot in the second trimester! My first challenge is to attempt making my own cloth diapers (any advice is appreciated since I’ve never even seen one in person, lol!). I can’t wait to feel our baby move soon and see my body change and to start putting together the nursery with Samuel. 🙂